


Where You Want To Go

by keep_waking_up



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bickering, F/M, Frottage, Intrigue, M/M, Mystery, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-17
Updated: 2013-04-17
Packaged: 2017-12-08 19:17:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/765047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keep_waking_up/pseuds/keep_waking_up
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone wanted to be the Alice.  To have a chance to spend a year in Wonderland and potentially save their kingdom.  If they were the True Alice, then they would be able to stay in Wonderland forever.  If not, at the end of a year, the Jabberwock would devour them whole.</p>
<p>Jensen never expected to be chosen to be the Alice.  But he was.  And even as he tries to fit in to his new role, he begins to feel all is not quite right in Wonderland.  One overheard conversation will lead him down a twisting path in search of the truth.  He'll have to deal with the flirty Queen of Hearts Danneel, the baffling Caterpillar Misha, as well as his reluctant partner in crime, the surly Cheshire Cat Jared, who Jensen just might have feelings for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where You Want To Go

Everyone wanted to be the Alice. Thousands of kids, all just turned nineteen, were lined up in front of the gilded Rabbithole Gates. They waited anxiously, burning with excitement, just like their brothers, sisters and parents had before them. Each of their names collected by the Cards at the White Rabbit’s command, carefully entered into the drawing pool from which one name would be selected. One person to play at being the Alice for a year until the Jabberwocky awoke and determined whether they were the True Alice or not. 

Their country hadn’t seen the True Alice in hundreds upon hundreds of years. And every year since the first Alice had died, the Jabberwocky had awoke and devoured the person that stood before it.

Yet still, every kid grew up wanting to be the Alice, even if it was only for a year. To live in Wonderland, with the immortal court of Guardians that had ruled over their country for as long as anyone could remember. To have a chance to commune with the land, as the Alice once had. To potentially be the one to bring their country back to life, out of the centuries long hibernation it had suffered through. Sure, chances were slim, but every kid held to that dream.

Jensen remembered wishing to be the Alice as a kid, but he’d grown out of it quickly. There were always bigger concerns to occupy his mind. His father’s work as the head of the town church and his mother’s at the local school were hardly enough to support him and his two siblings. There hadn’t been much excess money or time for things like religion and education since the True Alice had given her life for the land after the Looking-Glass Earthquake had hit. The government rations hadn’t been enough, and like his brother before him, Jensen had started taking whatever paying work he could get. He’d done a bit of everything, from helping out with crops and mending clothes to cleaning house. He hardly remembered it all. His nineteenth birthday had almost snuck up on him. He’d looked at the date on the calendar one day and realized it was only five days until he’d have to jump on board the national train and head to the capital to stand before the Rabbithole Gates for the Alice ceremony, assuming the Alice-of-the-year didn’t survive meeting the Jabberwocky. 

They didn’t.

His parents saw him off at the station. His mother patted his cheek and smiled, telling him to have a good time and hurry home. There was little doubt they’d see him again in a few days. Out of the thousands of nineteen-year-olds in their country, there was no way he would be chosen.

He stood in the crowd, watching in awe as the bells of Wonderland rung and the Rabbithole Gates opened slightly inward, giving a tantalizing glimpse of the inside of the only beautiful place left in their land. A small figure walked out; quick, hurried steps leading them up onto the platform that rose over the crowd. Jensen’s breath caught as she ascended and stood unobscured above them all, eyes darting around. He drank in the sight of the White Rabbit, one of the immortal twelve Guardians of their land. She was small and brunette, all minute and frenzied movements. Her voice, when she spoke into the microphone, was hurried.

“Citizens of Angland, thank you for coming here today, May Fourth, for the Alice Ceremony. Of all those aged nineteen years old in our country we have selected one individual to enter Wonderland and serve as our Alice for one year. When that year has come to a close, they will be presented to the Jabberwocky and we will know if the True Alice has been returned to us.” The White Rabbit paused for a second after that, and her eyes flitted downwards. Jensen wondered if she’d watched the other Alices be devoured year after year, losing hope each time. He wondered if she grieved each death, if she even bothered getting to know the new Alice or if she stayed away out of fear they would not be the one

She cleared her throat and glanced at her watch before she spoke again. “We all pray for our Alice’s return to us, and I hope you do so as well. Pray that the Alice that comes with me tonight will be the one to whom the land will respond. We have suffered long without our Alice, but the time will come, any day now, when they will be found and reunited with Angland.” Her eyes scanned the crowd and she tossed her hair back in a nervous gesture. “I give you now the name of our new Alice.” She looked down at the paper in her hand as she read out, “I ask you to welcome... Jensen Ackles!”

His name hit him like a lightning bolt. Drawing in his breath quickly, he held it as silence descended over the crowd, everyone glancing around trying to find the new Alice. Trying to find him. He couldn’t seem to remember how to breathe. If he held his breath, no one would see him. They’d admit it was a mistake. They’d have to pick another kid to be their Alice.

The White Rabbit leaned into the mike, her hair brushing the stand. “Jensen Ackles?” Her eyes were combing the crowd and he ducked his head as if that would help him avoid her gaze. “Jensen Ackles, please come forward.”

The boy next to him bumped into him and air rushed into him with a heavy inhale, before he let it out in a gust. Staring down at his feet, he watched as one moved in front of each other. It wasn’t until he was pushing past the person in front of him that he realized he was walking forward, just as the White Rabbit had commanded. Whispering broke out around him and he forced himself to raise his head, keeping his gaze high as he headed for the platform.

Applause broke out as he mounted the steps and came into view of the crowd. The Rabbit leaned forward, gripping his hand with hers and smiling reassuringly before pulling him up to join her. “Welcome your Alice!” she cried into the mike, before throwing their joined hands up in the air. She was so tiny, that his hand didn’t extend above his head. He blinked at the flashing lights aimed at him and flinched as he was suddenly dragged off the platform, guided only by the firm hand gripping his. The gate was opening before him. And then he was in Wonderland.

 

*

 

The gates closed behind them with a resounding thud, blocking out all the noise from the crowd outside. A group of armed Cards surrounded Jensen and the White Rabbit neatly, blocking his view of his surroundings as the tiny woman turned to face him, smile faded wearily. “Jensen,” she said and released his hand. “I’m sorry. It can be overwhelming out there. I tried to hurry us in here as quickly as possible. I’m not really one for the crowds either.”

“Oh.” He shifted on his feet, highly aware of just how he must appeared to her, in his hand-me-down trousers and shirt. He tugged at the collar before rubbing the back of his neck as he stared at her decked out in silks, leather, and the best cotton. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” She smiled, lips closed, tight and secretive, before glancing down at the elaborate watch on her wrist. “Oh, we better hurry, otherwise we’ll be late.” She set off at a brisk pace and Jensen stumbled to keep up. “You can ask me any questions you’d like on our way there,” she told him over her shoulder as her heels clacked on the cobblestone. “You can call me Genevieve, by the way.”

He swallowed, the implications daunting. No one on the outside even knew the Guardians’ names beyond their titles. Being invited to call the White Rabbit by her true name was frightening in and of itself. And yet, that completely fled his mind as Wonderland came into view.

All he could see was color. Bright greens and blues and yellows painting murals across his vision. And there was so much texture too. The lengths of grass shone in the sunlight, soft-looking like it never was back home. And all the flowers, so many different shapes and shades. He could smell their sweet fragrance wafting across the breeze, clearing his nose of the dust and disease of travel and the city. Wonderland’s colorful wilderness extended in front of him, and looming in the center of the sanctuary was the palace, all tiers and spirals. It rose up into the sky like it was meant to be there. He’d seen the top of it his whole life, in pictures of the Wall, but never like this, in its full, unsullied form. His mouth dropped open at the sight. Wonderland looked better than the best painting, a true paradise. It was so beautiful it was unreal.

“Jensen.” A light touch flitted over his arm. “Come on. You have to walk. We’re late.” Genevieve tugged at his sleeve. “There’ll be plenty of time to see the grounds later. I’m sure someone would love to give you a tour. But first we have a meeting to attend.”

Jensen’s tongue managed to unstick itself from the bottom of his mouth. “A meeting?”

Genevieve flashed a smile at him, as if to encourage his questions. “Yes. You’re due to meet the rest of the Guardians. They want to be introduced to the new Alice we’ve selected.”

“You selected?” His brain caught onto the tidbit, and his mouth sped ahead of him, speaking his thoughts before he had time to think his words through. “But I thought it was random, the selection.”

Frowning slightly, she shook her head. “No, no, of course not! We’re very careful about who we choose to be Alice. We try to find someone... Well, we’re trying to find the True Alice, of course, so we look for certain traits... But that’s neither here nor now. Much more important things to talk about.” They were nearing the palace, and Genevieve seemed more agitated with each step. “You know who you’ll be meeting, of course? Now, don’t be too alarmed by anything, we’re a bit of an odd bunch, or so we’ve been told, and some of the others... well, let’s just say meeting all of us can be a bit...”

“Overwhelming?” Jensen supplied, pulling a shaky grin, and was rewarded with a quick gale of laughter from his companion.

“Yes, I suppose so. Now, just remember, you’re the Alice now, so you’re on par with the rest of us. No need to feel intimidated or anything-”

She didn’t bother finishing her sentence before throwing open the front doors of the palace and leading him into the Grand Hall where eight other people were positioned around a circular table, waiting. Presumably for them.

The White Rabbit rushed forward, and Jensen followed warily behind her, taking in the sight as best he could. There were so many of them, all dressed elaborately, in bright colors and shiny metal. He felt blinded by their brilliance.

“Really?” A spiteful voice came hissing out from above and Jensen jerked his head upwards to see another form perched on a platform high up on one of the large columns lining the hall. The man’s attire was neutral, unlike the colorful flock below him and his slanted eyes gazed down at Jensen with malice. “A man? You do know Alice was female right?”

The woman seated at the head of the table stood regally in a rustle of red. She pursed her lips as she glared down the figure hovering above. “And you know that the mind is truly androgynous. So gender is hardly a determining factor when it comes to whether or not he is the Alice.”

“So you say,” the man huffed, unfurling his body to stand precariously on the small ledge. “But then again, you haven’t been doing so hot for the past couple hundred years, so forgive me if I don’t trust your judgment on this.”

“If you have such a problem with our choices, Jared, perhaps you should try getting involved with the selection process-”

“And have to spend more time with you? I’ll pass, thanks.” He sneered at the red woman and returned his gaze to Jensen, flicking up and down his body once with disgust. “I better not have to fuck him.”

“What makes you think I’d even want to fuck you?” The voice rang out through the hall and it took a couple of seconds for Jensen to realize it was his. Those were his hands clenching into fists, and his feet taking a step closer to the pillar. That was his voice snarling out, “‘Cause, let me tell you, that kind of ego isn’t really justified. At least-” He let himself return the man’s gaze, running his eyes over the tall, graceful body presented to him and lied through his teeth “-not from what I’m seeing.”

He heard a couple cut off noises from the Guardians behind him as the man’s eyes narrowed even further into their fox like slits. His own widened when the man suddenly threw himself off the ledge, performing an elegant flip as he fell towards the earth. He made an aborted move to try and catch the other man, only to see him land gracefully in a crouch before straightening. Closer now, he could see the red and blond highlights in the brunette mane and the hazel shades to those threatening eyes. “Do you know who I am?” the man hissed, slinking forward a few steps.

“An asshole?” Jensen offered and he heard a short cackle from the table.

The man smiled without any friendliness, just a baring of teeth. “I’m the Cheshire Cat, dumbfuck.”

The Cheshire Cat. Jensen was momentarily dumbfounded. The True Alice’s closest friend and advisor. The Cat had handled everything related to Alice, it was said. He’d been her guard, her friend, her caretaker, her pet. It was even rumored that they had been lovers. With the bitterness the Cheshire Cat was exuding towards Jensen, obviously some sort of roadblock had come along.

Jerking his chin up, he stared unflinchingly into to those hate-filled eyes. “Yeah. And I’m the Alice apparently. So I’m pretty sure I can tell you to fuck off. And I’m pretty sure you have to.”

The Cat sneered, even as surprise flashed in his eyes. “Nothing I’d like better.” With one last scornful look, he turned on his heel and seemed to almost disappear into one of the various hallways branching out from the hall. 

Jensen stood blinking in his wake, a little confused as to what, exactly, had just happened. He hadn’t been expecting hostility, especially not from the Alice’s closest friend. It didn’t exactly bode well for his future. Not at all.

“Don’t worry about Jared.” He turned to face the table and discovered the red woman had moved closer. She was standing directly in front of him, bangs falling in her eyes as she smiled sweetly. The ends of her hair dipped into her ample cleavage and he swallowed as he dragged his gaze back to her face. Amusement danced in her eyes and he flushed at being caught. “It’s been a long couple of centuries for him, without Alice. He used to be the sweetest thing, but he has become rather... hardhearted. He assures me that this is a normal side-effect of losing the reason for one’s existence.” She paused, and then laughed lightly, more a social mannerism than a true one, it seemed. “Of course, most of what he says nowadays is sarcasm, so...” She held out her hand, as if she expected him to kiss it. “I’m Danneel, Jensen. Queen of Hearts. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

He gaped at her for a few moments, before managing to stumble out a “it’s nice to meet you too” and awkwardly shake her hand. After all, it wasn’t every day you met the head of the realm, the effective leader of the Immortal Twelve of Wonderland. The Queen of Hearts led them in Alice’s stead, and would continue to do so until the True Alice was found.

The Queen gazed at him worriedly, before raising a hand to caress his brow. “The poor thing’s exhausted and probably in shock,” she announced to the rest of the group before taking his arm. “I’ll get you situated in your rooms and you can get some rest before you meet everyone else. No use doing it right now, you’ll only collapse on us.” She guided him firmly out of the hall, up some stairs and down a number of corridors before she stopped at a door. “This is the entrance to the Alice’s quarters. Go in and get comfortable. We’ll talk more tomorrow.” She kissed him lightly on the forehead, before stepping away with a smile. “Welcome to Wonderland, Jensen.”

 

*

 

He slept. He didn’t even look at his rooms first. He just slept. When he woke up, he spent five minutes trying to convince himself he was still dreaming before he finally resigned himself to the fact that, yes, he was still awake. Yes, he was really in Wonderland. And yes, that was a velvet embroidered canopy of the True Alice above him.

She was lovely, the heart of Angland. Full blonde hair and crystalline blue eyes set over plump childish cheeks and a bow mouth. She looked small and delicate, almost doll-like, in the blue silks and lace the embroider had pictured her in. She would’ve looked sweet, all wrapped up in the Cheshire Cat’s arms, his giant form protecting her from the rest of the world. No wonder the Cat wasn’t a fan of Jensen; he was about as different from Alice as one could get. 

The clock mounted over his wardrobe (and wasn’t that odd, to have a whole wardrobe as opposed to a few drawers) chimed nine o’clock in the morning. He could’ve sworn it was eight-thirty only a few minutes ago, but time flew, he guessed.

After a few more minutes of sprawling in bed, enjoying the novelty of having nowhere to go and no jobs to do, he reluctantly heaved himself out of the decadent nest of fabrics and wandered over to the wardrobe. He opened it, expecting it to be empty, and was shocked to find two rows of an excessive amount of clothing, all fitted to his size. The drawers below yielded similar finds. Overwhelmed by the selection, he put on the simplest shirt and pants he could find before escaping his room.

It was only when he was at least five minutes and an innumerable number of hallways away from his room that he realized he had absolutely no idea where he was going.

If he hadn’t been really, really hungry at that point, he might have explored some. After all, the Wonderland palace sure had a lot of rooms for just the twelve immortal Guardians and the Cards that served them. But his stomach was warning him that if he didn’t feed it, and soon, it might just rebel on him and near-starvation didn’t sound like a great experience for his first day as the Alice.

After about ten more minutes of aimless wandering, he turned a corner and ran into someone. Quite literally. “Sorry, sorry,” he apologized, flustered, before looking up. Immediately, his good mood disappeared. “Oh. You.”

“Yeah. Me.” The Cheshire Cat flicked his hair away from his face dismissively before brushing his chest off, as if Jensen had left some mess behind. “The Queen seems to have forgotten I’m not a dog and sent me to... ‘fetch’ you.” He scowled. “Next time, try to just wait for someone to tell you what you’re supposed to be doing instead of wandering off. It’d make everyone’s job that much easier.”

“Sorry for making your life so difficult,” Jensen muttered sarcastically, crossing his arms. “Look, can you just take me to wherever the food is around here? Then you can go off and sulk somewhere else. Preferably somewhere I don’t have to deal with you.”

“Glad we’re on the same page.” Jared breezed past him, setting a fast pace down the halls. “Hurry up,” he tossed over his shoulder, not looking back.

It was hard to keep up with a man who was almost six and a half feet tall without looking like an idiot. Jensen wasn’t sure he managed. He spent the whole time glaring at his feet until the Cat came to abrupt stop. “Here you are.”

Jensen glanced up. “This is my room,” he said, startled.

Rolling his eyes, the Cat snorted. “No shit.”

“But-” The Cheshire Cat was gone before Jensen could finish his sentence, leaving him alone in front of his room. “Great,” he hissed, before storming back inside. He came to abrupt halt when he spotted the Queen of Hearts seated at the small table by the window, sipping from a cup of tea with a large and bountiful breakfast set in front of her.

Hearing his entrance, she looked up with a warm smile. “Jensen. Good morning.” At his obvious confusion, she beckoned him over. “Breakfast is served in your room. Just ring the bell next time and a Card will come with your food.”

“Oh.” He was tongue-tied as he sat down, sneaking glances at her every so often. He’d noticed how beautiful she was yesterday, but it hit him anew as the sun hit the side of her face and lit up her eyes. The deep shades of red she seemed to favor emphasized the cream of her skin and the woody color of her hair. He’d never had much time back at home to examine his sexuality, but if he had to come up with a type, he was pretty sure she would check every box on his list.

Amusement returned to her gaze as she caught his awestruck gaze. “I guess Jared didn’t win you over?”

He snorted, shaking his head. “Wasn’t like he was trying to.”

“I’m sure he wasn’t.” She tilted her head to the side, watching with interest as he began serving himself carefully. “But you’d be amazed how many of the Alices he has charmed without being very charming at all.” She paused then laughed, the same polite sound she’d made the night before. “Perhaps it’s because you haven’t seen him shirtless yet.”

“I doubt his chest is anything that could change my opinion that drastically,” Jensen countered and felt a rush of pleasure as she grinned at him.

“Well then. I think we will get along quite well Jensen.” She raised her cup of tea to knock against his with a smile that was decidedly flirty. “And I wish I could be the one to give you the tour of Wonderland. Alas, I only have time to stop by for a few minutes this morning.”

Swallowing his disappointment, he nodded. “Don’t worry, I get it. You’re busy, running the nation and stuff.” He wiped his hands on his napkin after finishing the muffin he’d selected. “Do you have someone that could show me around? I already got lost once. I’m not keen on doing it again.”

She sighed, almost sagging a little in her chair. “Unfortunately, it is... traditional for the Cheshire Cat to show the new Alice around. It’s been this way for centuries, or I would suggest a change. But be assured this is the last time you will have to spend time in Jared’s company. He prefers to lurk in the forest and hiss at anyone that comes too close.” She gave him a sympathetic smile before standing. “I’ll take you to him. He won’t shirk his duties in this one instance. He’ll be thorough, if not very... warm.”

“I’m sure I can deal with him for a day,” he assured her as he followed her out the door of his room and they began walking the halls. “Will he show me where I can find you if I need to speak to you?”

“Yes, I’m sure he’ll stop by my office.” She smiled up at him through her lashes. “I must say, I’m flattered. You are the first Alice to have asked that. Let me just make it clear now that you are welcome at any time. I may be busy, but I can always spare a few minutes for you, Jensen.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” There might be some advantages to being the Alice after all. If he was going to die in a year, at least he might be able to spend time with Danneel first. “And Danneel?” She looked up expectantly. He grinned down at her, bringing his hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Those other Alices? Were idiots.”

She honest-to-God smirked at him, before resting a hand lightly on his waist. “Like I said. I’m flattered.” Slowly, she rose on tip-toes to brush her lips over his cheek. “I’m afraid I have to leave you here. Duty calls. And you have a grumpy Cat to deal with.” Her eyes flicked to something behind him, and all of sudden, he could nearly feel Jared’s sullen presence. She pressed her mouth to his ear. “Try not to kill him, will you? He may be a sour puss, but we do actually need him sometimes.”

“I’ll do my best.” He couldn’t stop smiling at her. “I’ll see you later?”

“I look forward to it.” She sent him one last heated look over her shoulder before she glided off, skirts swishing behind her. Jensen kept watching until she was out of sight, reluctant to deal with the man behind him.

“You know she’s only interested in you because you’re the Alice, right?” Jared’s presence settled at his side, arms crossed and jaw clenched. “Danneel wouldn’t give you the time of day otherwise. She’s a stuck-up bitch like that.”

“Well, you would know, wouldn’t you,” Jensen shot back, trying not to react visibly to the insult. “Being one yourself.”

Hazel eyes flickered over him in disbelief. “Did you just call me a bitch?”

Jensen smirked, tilting his chin up to stare the other man down. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure I did.” When the Cat didn’t reply, he sighed. “Look, can we just get this stupid tour over with? All I want to know is how to get between my room, the entrance of the palace, and Danneel’s office without getting lost. The rest I can figure out on my own, thanks.”

“Tough luck.” Jared seemed even pissier than he had been before, his shoulders set back into a solid line of defense. “You’re getting the whole tour. I’m not going to have the Queen bitch ranting at me about ‘shirking my duties’ any more than she already does.”

“Great,” Jensen muttered under his breath. From the sideways glare he received, he hadn’t spoken quietly enough. Clearing his throat, he steeled himself in preparation. “Alright, well. Lead on, Cat.”

Jared stalked off, setting a pace that had Jensen taking two steps for every one of his. Jensen could practically see his tail twitching with indignation. Whoever had labeled him a cat had been right on the money. Trying not to show how hard it was to keep up, Jensen huffed out, “So. Where’re we going first?”

Sighing, his reluctant tour guide picked up speed once again and began to recite, “Wonderland. The last sanctuary of Angland. It used to be that all of the land mirrored how Wonderland appears today. However, when the Looking Glass Earthquake hit, the land was almost torn apart, and Alice gave all of her energy, and her life, to hold Angland together. Without its bonded, the land began to slowly die and the immortal guardians were only able to preserve a small slice of land, Wonderland, in its original state. Wonderland’s ample resources are distributed throughout the kingdom, because the rest of the land cannot support its inhabitants on its own. Only around one percent of what is actually produced here remains here.”

“And that’s why you’re all in velvet?”

Jared sneered over his shoulder. “Immortal, idiot. We haven’t needed new clothes for years now.”

Well, that made him feel like an idiot. Ducking his head, he glanced out the windows at the fields the Cards were tending. The harvest looked lush and bountiful, unlike the scrappy pickings he’d help collect back home. “The Cards-”

“The Cards are the labor source of Wonderland. People from outside the Rabbithole Gates can apply for positions as Cards here. In return for their work, they are provided with lodgings, food, clothing, etc. Some of the Cards start families here. Some of the Cards you see today are descended from some of Wonderlands first Cards, centuries ago.” The Cat was rattling off the facts in a disinterested tone, as if by rote. In fact, it probably was by rote. He’d probably given the same speech to each of the Alices that had passed through these walls. “Each Guardian can choose one Card to be their personal attendant. You may do so as well, if you feel so compelled.” The man came to an abrupt halt in front of a door. “First stop. The Tea Party.”

“And what is-” It would really have been nice if Jared had let him finish speaking before opening the door and just barging in, obviously expecting Jensen to follow. Slowly, he edged into the room, and nearly tripped over a stack of paper. “Oh shit!”

“Careful!” There came a bark from the other side of the room and all of sudden a long-haired man was up in his space, carefully correcting the stack he’d run into. “These are the complaints from Westborough! They’re dealing with some sort of illness, something about dust in the lungs... Very important stuff.”

“Right...” Jensen backed away. “Sorry. Just. Wasn’t expecting it to be there.”

“It’s okay.” Another man came into view, his smile much calmer. “Every new Alice does it. It would help if someone-” a glare was directed Jared’s way “-actually told people what to expect before they came in.”

“Don’t go ruining my fun, Stevie.” Jared stretched lazily, muscle moving under tan skin. “Gotta get my kicks somewhere.”

The angry man scoffed as he neatened more stacks. “Your fun could mean the continued misery of an entire city.”

“That’s why I said my fun, not Angland’s.”

“Good to know your priorities are in order, Jared.”

“Always are.”

“Oh, stop you two.” The calmer man, Stevie, placed a hand on his partner’s arm. “It’s the same argument every year. Just because the Alice is new doesn’t mean someone isn’t bored of it.” He paused. “Besides, we haven’t even introduced ourselves, Chris.”

The other man glanced up, startled. “Right.” He straightened up and peered at Jensen. “Right. New Alice.” He stuck out his hand. “Chris. The Mad Hatter. And this is Steve, the March Hare, my assistant. Sort of.”

Steve grinned. “Pretty sure I do more work than you do, man.” He shook Jensen’s hand as soon as Chris was done. “You know what we do, yeah?”

“You deal with allocating Wonderland’s resources and dealing with the complaints of the population. Yeah. I learned that in school.” Jensen scratched at the back of his head, scanning the stacks of paper nearly covering the floor of the room. “I guess you have a lot of complaints, huh?”

Steve chortled, before kicking lightly at one stack with his foot. “You think this is a lot, wait ‘til you see Genevieve and Chad’s place. They deal with Card applications. That’s a lot of paper.”

“Chad?”

“The White Knight,” Steve clarified. “You’ll have to venture out to the Wall to see them. Are you taking him out that far?” he asked Jared, before waving a hand. “Of course you are. Same tour every year, I remember.” He turned a shrewd eye to Jensen. “Tell him if you want to see anything he doesn’t show you. Don’t be a pushover.”

“Uh, sure, I’ll try.” His eyes tracked Chris as the man hurried all of the room in a frenzy of searching. “I guess we should let you get back to work?”

“Yes,” Chris answered bluntly. “Lots to do and time’s a bitch. We’ll see you.”

“Take care, Jensen,” Steve added on, before Jared was hurrying him out of the room. 

As soon as the door shut behind them, the Cat took off again at his brutal pace. Jensen kept up the best he could and growled, “I’d appreciate the warning next time.”

“Don’t expect one,” Jared retorted, and his hands were clenched at his side. After a few moments, he let out a groan. “There are four other offices. Besides the Tea Party, we have the Wall, the Throne Room, the Flower Grove, and the Tweedle station. I’ll take you to all of those, then take you back to your room. That’s the tour, okay. Be careful when you enter a room and you should be fine.”

“Thanks,” he said grudgingly. “Where to next?”

Jared answered with an opened door.

“Dude!” He’d only taken one step inside when a hand latched onto him and pulled him into the center of the room. He’d only caught sight of dark hair carefully combed back and bright eyes before he was being pounded on the back. “I told you he’d bring him. Jared never breaks routine!”

“Then why is he almost twenty minutes late?” Another man came forward, brown hair and mischievous eyes. “The new Alice always comes at exactly twelve-twenty. It’s nearly twelve thirty-seven. That’s off routine, if you ask me.”

“Do I look like I know?” The dark-haired man peered over at Jared without releasing his grip on Jensen’s arm. “Jared, why’re you late man?”

Jared’s lips were pursed and he didn’t take his eyes off Jensen as he replied. “Someone decided they wanted to get cozy with the Queen.”

“No shit,” the two men said in unison before breaking out in grins that were scarily identical for how different they looked. Both were clapping him on the back before he could say anything. The brown haired one pinched his cheek before slapping his back again. “Gonna try and slip Danneel the salami, huh? Take your scepter to her-”

“Inapro-pro, dude!” The other one interrupted before turning his attention back to Jensen. “Seriously though. What’s the game plan?”

It took everything Jensen had not to send Jared a look pleading for help. Instead, he tried to pull away slightly, only to be clutched even tighter. “Um, I don’t know?”

“Don’t worry.” Brown hair waved a hand dismissively. “We’ve got your back. We’ll come up with something.”

“Right.” Jensen glanced between the two of them. “Um, who are you?”

“Shit!” Dark hair smacked a hand against the other’s forehead. “How could you be such an idiot? We have to introduce ourselves!”

“How could you be so stupid? I’m not the one who goes first?”

“Yeah-huh!”

“Nu-uh!”

“Yeah-huh!”

“Nu-uh!”

“Richard!”

“Matt!”

“Richard and Matt?” Jensen asked, before they could continue their argument. He was pretty sure that any minute now they’d start pulling each other’s hair. “Those are your names?”

Dark hair, Matt, perked up. “Yeah!” He released Jensen to throw an arm over Richard’s shoulders. “We’re the Tweedles! I’m Tweedle Dee and he’s Tweedle Dum!”

Richard scowled and smacked the arm away from him. “I think you’ve got that wrong. I’m Tweedle Dee and you’re Tweedle Dum.”

“No-”

“It’s very nice to meet you!” Jensen interjected himself weakly, only to be ignored as they kept arguing. Without thinking, he sent a glance at Jared. Who was gone. Glancing at the Tweedles, he began to back out of the room, moving more quickly when he realized they weren’t going to follow. Jared was waiting just outside the room, leaning back against the wall. Jensen ran a hand through his hair and sighed, taking in the momentary respite. “Those guys are the head of our military?”

“Yep.” The question seemed to shake Jared into action. He pushed off of the wall and set off down the halls once again. “Of course, we haven’t gone to war for years, so it’s not like they do much.”

“I hope we never do.”

Jared shrugged. “I don’t know. Could be more interesting than just living in this stupid country for the next century.” Before Jensen could protest, he was continuing, shaking his head. “But I guess it wouldn’t really matter to you. I mean, it’s not like you’re going to be here.”

Bristling, Jensen let his anger pound out of him through his feet as he stomped forward. “You don’t know. I could be the True Alice.”

“You?” Jared looked at him, the same full-body scan he’d done the night before. “Yeah right. Hate to break it to you kid, but you’re good as dead.”

That was what Jensen had been thinking just the other night about whatever poor sucker was chosen as the Alice, but it sounded so different aimed at him. He caught onto the back of Jared’s shirt, hauling him to a stop before spitting out. “Don’t act like you’re so all-knowing. You don’t know me. I could be your fucking Alice, and you wouldn’t know me from Mary Jane Smith.”

The fox eyes narrowed as they stared down at him. “You’re full of shit. I knew Alice better than anyone else on this planet, and trust me, she’d never come back as some dumbass, ugly kid who’d never done anything worth noting his life. You’re worthless, kid. Alice would never be worthless.”

“At least I’m worth more than some dick the Alice probably only kept around out of pity.” Jensen leaned forward, getting in the other’s face as he sneered. “You know all those other kids that came through here? They all only fucked you out of pity. Because, you say I’m worthless, but what are you worth without her? I mean, it’s not like you contributed anything to Angland except for giving Alice some kind of pet to feel sorry for!”

A fist slammed into the wall next to his head. Startled, he stumbled backwards, hitting the wall himself. Strong arms came up to cage him there and for a second, Jared was almost snarling in his face. “You think you’re so much better than me, Jensen? Huh? Let me show you something.” He grabbed his wrist and hauled him off. Jensen stumbled as he tried to keep up with the man who had the vice grip on his wrist. A minute later, Jared was yanking him into a room in the depths of the castle, shoving him forward into the darkness. Jensen nearly fell over when the lights flicked on.

Lying in front of him was a man. But not a man like he’d ever seen before. Ivory claws snarled out from his finger tips, scratching on the stone below him. Where he should’ve had hair he had long purple-black feathers. His mouth was more beak than anything else. And instead of feet he had talons. Jensen stumbled backwards, only stopping when he ran into Jared’s chest. “What the fuck is that?”

Jared wrapped his arms around him, refusing to let him retreat any further. “That, my dear Alice, is your destiny. A year from now, you’re going to stand here, and that thing, the Jabberwock, is going to wake up and tear your stomach open.” His fingers traced Jensen’s abdomen as he spoke in a sing-song voice, breath brushing against Jensen’s ear. “All those people you met today? They’re going to be standing in here and they’re going to watch as it rips you to shreds. And they’re not going to do a thing.” Jared laughed a little bit without any humor and gave Jensen a small squeeze that pushed the air out of him. “And the next day they’ll bring some other kid home and never think about you again.” He released Jensen abruptly, leaving him trying to catch his balance. His voice was cold and hard as he spoke again. “So the next time you get elevated ideas about what exactly your role in our lives is, remember that in one year’s time, your blood is going to be all over this floor, and no one will care.”

He left in a rustle of fabrics, leaving Jensen staring down at the Jabberwock before him, still not quite able to breathe.

*

It took Jensen a long time to find his way out of the basements Jared had dragged him into. All of the Cards were out working for the day, so he didn’t come across anyone who could direct him. He was more than relieved when he finally walked up a flight of stairs to see the sun again

He spent a few moments there, pressed up against the window as if he could breathe in the sunshine. Seeing the Jabberwock had stirred up some instinctual fear in him and his heart was still pumping a few beats too fast, like it could out run its fate if it pumped fast enough. He closed his eyes and breathed.

“Are you alright?” The voice behind him came suddenly and without warning. He spun quickly to face whoever it was, stumbling at the jerky movement. He had to blink several times before Danneel’s concerned face became clear before him. She reached out to brush his cheek with her hand and he flinched away, remembering Jared’s rough words and touches. Face falling into a hurt pout, she took a step closer. “Jensen? Are you alright?”

He shook his head, as if he could shake off his experience like a dog did water. “Sorry, sorry. Just a little shaken.” When she opened her mouth to question, he said, “Jared.”

“Ah.” She smiled sympathetically. “I was wondering if things had gone badly, since you hadn’t been by my office yet. That’s why I came back this way.”

No one will care. The words rang in his head as he looked at Danneel’s face and the smile he attempted came out shaky. “Thanks for thinking of me. Yeah, we just didn’t... didn’t really get along. He decided to cut our tour a little short.”

“That brat.” Her face twisted in anger. “Honestly, he only has one job and he can’t even do that.” She tossed her hair back furiously. “You can be assured I will be talking to him about this.”

“Honestly, I don’t even care. I just don’t want to have to deal with him again.” Jensen ran a hand through his hair, trying to get it back into place

Danneel caressed his cheek briefly, before linking his arm with hers. “And you won’t have to. You can come with me back to my office, and once I’m done with my duties, I’ll see if I can’t finish up your tour, okay?”

“Sounds good.” He let her pull him along, putting what happened with Jared in the back of his mind. “I gotta say, though, I can’t believe the first Alice actually put up with him.”

A melancholy settled over Danneel’s face as she sighed. “I know it’s hard to imagine it now, but Jared used to be the sweetest person. He was like an overgrown puppy, honestly, full of life and joy. He and Alice used to have the most fun together, always running about like children, pulling the silliest pranks. When she gave her life, he was more determined to find her again than any of us. He used to get so attached to the Alices we picked... And when the Jabberwock deemed them unworthy, it would break him all over again.” She looked up at him seriously. “Eventually, it was too much for him, and he turned into what he is now. The Cheshire Cat.”

“He used to have a different name?” The whole story was filling Jensen with a strange sense of guilt as he relived their conversation. After all, he had been pretty harsh, even if Jared had been asking for it. Maybe he should’ve been a little bit kinder...

“Yes.” Danneel let out a wistful sigh. “He used to be the Alice’s Kitten, actually. The Caterpillar was the first to call him by his new name.”

“Why would he call him that? Cheshire Cat, that is. What does it mean?”

Danneel’s eyes turned to the ground, and Jensen thought they were glassy with sadness. “It means lost. Cheshire means lost.”

 

*

 

After his disastrous tour, he spent most of his free time in Danneel’s office, the Throne Room. It was a huge room, and after the first day, she’d had an armchair and desk set up in a corner for him. She was too busy to talk to him most of the time, but they always took lunch together, and through the meetings she had, he learned more about Wonderland than days of wandering could’ve gained him. Even better, she was responsive and open to any questions he had for her. The casual flirtation they had going didn’t hurt either.

That morning, Danneel had a meeting with the Dormouse, the Caterpillar’s only assistant, and thereby the vice head of the legislative and judicial systems of Angland. The Dormouse mostly ignored Jensen. After sparing him a disdainful glance, he rattled off a list of facts to Danneel and exited as quickly as possible, before Jensen could introduce himself. Danneel gave a long, drawn out sigh. “You’ll have to excuse Sebastian. He’s not normally like that.”

“He didn’t like me.” It was a statement, not a question. Jensen bit at his lower lip as he watched the Queen carefully. “Any particular reason we’ve never met and he’s not a fan?”

“Just politics.” She waved a dismissive hand. When Jensen continued to stare, she expanded. “It’s just a matter of the Alice Selection Process. All ten of us have input, but not everything gets their favorite choice selected.” She scanned his face, as if worried he’d be offended. “Sebastian wasn’t exactly your biggest fan on the panel.”

“I see.” He’d never been told much about the Selection Process, just bits and pieces in passing. “And you were?”

Danneel smiled, lips curved upwards in a way that shifted their exchange from business-like to something distinctly more flirtatious in manner. “I thought I saw something special in you, yes. You were my first pick.”

He wanted to ask her what exactly it was that she’d seen in him, but they were interrupted by some Cards sent from the Wall. Sensing that Danneel wouldn’t be able to spare him anymore of her time that day, he slipped out of the office, instead meandering down the corridor. He still wasn’t very clear on directionality in the palace. He knew how to get out, as well as how to get to his room and Danneel’s office, but not much more. Getting lost didn’t really bother him anymore, however. Whenever he really started to panic, he’d stumble against some kind of sign post, or a Card, or something else to guide his way. Besides, most of the hallways seemed to loop around so that no matter which way he went, he would always get where he was going.

A few minutes into his walk, he heard voices up ahead. Slowing down, he edged forward, peering around the corner. The Dormouse came into view, speaking in a hushed voice with someone just out of frame. The man’s eyes were frantic as he spoke. Jensen could only pick up bits and pieces of his sentences and strained to hear more.

“-told her. I told her this one was no good, but she was so convinced-” Whoever the Dormouse was speaking to must have replied, for the man fell silent before speaking again with audible frustration. “I can just sense it, alright? She may think he’ll fall in line like the others, but- Yes, obviously there’s some affection there and that can be used, but I-” He quieted, and then shook his head in exasperation. “If you will not believe me, I will speak to someone who will. This will be a problem, just you wait!” He stomped off in the other direction, and Jensen eased out of his hiding place, only to jump back when he heard another pair of feet moving. He waited until all sound had ceased before emerging.

What exactly had that been? He puzzled over the tidbits of the conversation he’d heard. Obviously, they were referring to someone they thought might be trouble. Could it have been a Card? Someone Sebastian thought they should not have employed? That explanation seemed to fit... except for the bit about ‘falling in with the others’. That phrasing had been so strange, as if they were expecting this person to do something they didn’t want to do or... He didn’t know. 

That evening, when Danneel arrived for dinner, he was distracted, unable to pay attention to her normally fascinating conversation. Even though Sebastian’s words probably had nothing to do with him, he couldn’t stop turning them over in his mind. Finally, she reached across the table and grasped his hand. “Jensen. Are you alright? You seem strange tonight.”

He shook off his stupor and smiled. “Yeah, I’m fine, thanks. Just heard something a little bit strange.”

Her face seemed to tighten even as she asked, “What did you hear?”

For a moment, he had the bizarre impulse not to tell her, before he shook his head with a laugh. “Nothing really. Was just wandering around the halls and heard the Dormouse talking about not approving of someone and how they’d be a problem... Has there been a problem with hiring one of the Cards?” He asked, anxious to solve the puzzle. “It just seemed a little strange, that’s all.”

When he looked up, he saw her whole body was stiff with tension and he thought he saw a flicker of fear pass through her eyes. It was only for a moment, and then she seemed to forcibly relax, pasting a polite smile on and squeezing his hand. “Yes, I’m sorry. Sebastian really shouldn’t have been gossiping like that. It was my decision he had a problem with, so he should’ve come to me. Don’t worry, it’s nothing big.”

“You guys don’t agree on a lot, do you?” He joked, trying to bring her out of whatever mood she’d settled into. “First me, then this Card.”

Her hand became vice-like over his and he winced. “I’m sorry,” she immediately apologized, releasing his hand. “Very sorry. Just stress of the job getting to me.” Standing, she fussed with her curls while she began to collect her things. “I better turn in early today. Some rest will make me better, I’m sure.”

“I’m sorry if I upset you.” Reaching out, he rested a hand on her arm, feeling the red velvet slide under his fingertips. “I didn’t mean to. Obviously.”

She looked up at him with a pensive gaze, before running her gloved hand over his cheek. “I know, Jensen. You would never do anything to hurt me, would you?” When he nodded affirmatively, she smiled. “I’m fond of you Jensen. Very fond.” Her voice deepened to a huskier pitch. “There’s been something I’ve been wanting to do ever since you got here.”

“And what’s that?” He breathed. They were so close, faces only a foot or so apart as she stroked his cheek. His eyes flickered down to her lips, painted as red as a rose.

“This.” She pressed those red, red lips very carefully to his. Their lips barely touched, a brief sensuous glide before she pulled back. He gazed down at her, hungry for more, even as she pulled away. Clearing her throat, she dusted the front of her dress, running a hand over that ample chest. “I hope we can do that again someday soon.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, and she was gone, slipping out of the door like a crimson dream. He let out all the air he’d been holding in his chest, silly grin slipping onto his face. He turned around, only to see her briefcase abandoned by the dinner table. Quickly, he grabbed it and exited the room, heading towards her office. She’d need it for the next day, after all, and there was no telling when she’d realize it was missing, or whether she’d know where she left it. Better to bring it to her now, and maybe get another kiss in exchange.

He went to push open the door to the Throne Room, but paused when he heard a voice inside. It wouldn’t do to interrupt while Danneel was meeting with someone. He bent to rest the briefcase gently against the door and had turned to leave when a series of words caught his ear, spoken in Danneel’s voice, hard and strained. “I don’t care what Sebastian does, but tell him he better be careful where he talks. He overheard and I don’t want to have to deal with distracting him again.”

Jensen bolted away from the door as quickly as possible. Danneel’s words tumbled over in his mind. Overheard... Distracting him... Those words couldn’t mean what he thought they did, right? They couldn’t have anything to do with him. Could they?

*

The next morning, he couldn’t find the energy to keep up with Danneel’s cheerful chatter. He smiled as best he could before pushing away the muffin he’d only managed to take three bites of. “I think I’m going to explore today. I’ve been feeling a little cooped up. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Of course not!” Danneel smiled, wide and warm, and he couldn’t help thinking it looked false. “It’s natural to want to explore... You’ve barely seen any of Wonderland after all! Anywhere in particular you want to go? I could get a Card to guide you.”

“No thanks.” He hoped his expression wasn’t as strained on the outside as he felt on the inside. “I’d rather wander on my own. See what I can find.”

“Should I still plan on dinner tonight?” The invitation was obviously for more than dinner, from the way her eyelashes fluttered and mouth curled upwards. 

It was alluring and she was incredibly charming, but Jensen couldn’t help the small flinch that went through him. He tried to laugh it off, even as her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “No, I think I’m going to see if any of the others are free. I feel like I’ve been hogging all your time. You should get a night to yourself every now and then, especially with how stressful your work’s been lately.”

After a few moments of staring, she nodded, acquiescing. “Alright then. I would not want to deprive the others of your company. I think I’ve been the one monopolizing your time, not the other way around.”

“No, really, I’ve been-”

“No, I’ve-”

“I don’t think we are going to agree no matter what is said,” Jensen laughed, before standing. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning though?”

She stood, leaning up to slide their mouths together once and then twice, before pulling away with a smile. “But of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

As soon as she was gone, he let the smile slide from his face. He wouldn’t rest easy until he was sure that Danneel hadn’t been talking about him. And to do that, he needed to go talk to Sebastian, much as that did not sound like a fun idea. He had no clue where the Caterpillar’s office was, or who the Caterpillar even was for that matter, but it shouldn’t be that hard to find. The palace was only so big, and all the rest of the Guardians’ offices seemed to be in a sort of curving line through the palace. The Flower Grove should be around where Sebastian had been the other day.

He set out in that general direction and searched. And searched. And searched. For four hours. Frustrated, tired, and hungry, he started heading back to his room, only to realize he was in a section of the palace he didn’t think he’d even been near before. The whole wing seemed older, dust clinging to the corners and cobwebs overhead. All the rest of the palace was in pristine condition, but here signs of age and wear seemed to peak out from behind the tapestries. A cloying smoke hung in the air, making him cough as he moved forward. 

“People don’t usually come here, you know.” The voice popped up behind him and he spun around, only to be assaulted by another wave of smoke. “In fact, they usually avoid it like the plague.”

“What?” Jensen waved away the smoke, only to see a brown haired man, staring dreamily up at the swirls of smoke. There was a brightly colored hookah tucked under his arm and as Jensen watched he took another drag, releasing more smoke to join the rest.

He didn’t look at Jensen as he spoke. “They don’t like the reminder. That even Wonderland can’t be kept perfectly preserved forever. Not without an Alice.” Shrewd blue eyes turned to eye Jensen, surprisingly astute for the amount he seemed to be smoking. “We can pump all the energy we want into the earth and it’ll be a pale substitute for an Alice. Without an Alice, even Wonderland will die eventually.”

Cautiously, Jensen eased closer, holding his breath as best he could so as to not inhale the smoke. “An Alice? You mean the Alice, right?”

“No!” Jensen jumped as the other man’s voice rang through the hall with a venomous fury. “No, I meant what I said. An Alice.”

“But there’s only one.” Everyone knew that. There was only one Alice and she had died, but she would come back, reincarnated, and save their land. “There’s only one Alice. So it’s the Alice.”

Pointing the hose of the hookah at him, the man snarled. “False! False false false! All lies, all of that. Do you know what Alice really was?” When Jensen shook his head, bewildered, the man took a furious drag from the hookah before continuing while smoke oozed out of his mouth. “She was just a girl. Just a girl who had an affinity for the earth. How do you think the land managed before her? How do you think the land managed before us? We weren’t always here, you know. So there must’ve been other Alices. Otherwise the land would’ve been dead long before the Looking Glass Earthquake. No-” The man gripped his forearm, bringing him close as his blue eyes spun with energy. “No. There were other Alices. And there must’ve been other Alices since. Except. They must not have known what to do. Which begs the question-” The man tilted his head as he began petting the nape of Jensen’s neck with a small smile. “Why haven’t we found an Alice since?”

Mesmerized by the dizzying blue, Jensen held still, even as the other man blew smoke right in his face. “Who are you?” he breathed.

The man laughed, before tapping his nose. “I think that’s supposed to be my question.” He released Jensen abruptly, leaning back against the wall. “People don’t usually come here, you know.” Yawning, he stretched. “It’s been nearly a century since I found anyone here. Even Sebastian doesn’t come.” He winked at Jensen before taking another drag. “Think I scared him last time.”

Keeping a few feet between them, Jensen leaned against the wall as well, staring at him, fascinated. “You’re the Caterpillar, aren’t you?”

“They call me Misha,” the Caterpillar answered without answering at all. “And you were looking for me, weren’t you?”

“Why would you say that?”

“Haven’t you noticed?” Blue stared him down. “The halls take you where you want to go. As long as you know where it is you want to go.” He shrugged. “You wanted to find me. The halls took you here. It didn’t really matter which way you headed. You always would’ve ended up here.”

Frowning, Jensen shook his head. “But I wasn’t looking for you. I was looking for Sebastian.”

“Why?”

“I had a question for him.”

“No!” Once again, the word seemed to split the air, causing Jensen to jerk back. Misha smiled, wide and child-like, a sharp contrast to the threatening tone of moments before. “You thought you had a question for Sebastian. Your question is for me.” He giggled around the hose, inhaling and laughing at the same time. “The halls always know.”

“Right.” Biting on the inside of his lip, Jensen sucked in his breath before saying, “Look, it’s a pretty specific question-”

“Stop waffling and ask, Jensen.”

The use of his name was unexpected. It shocked him enough that he blurted out, “I wanted to know whether he was talking about me yesterday. And why what I heard scared Danneel.”

Misha wagged his finger in Jensen’s face, shaking his head. “That’s not a question. You’re supposed to ask me a question.”

“Why doesn’t Sebastian want me here?”

His words rang out in the hall, only dampened by the mold inside the walls and the insidious dust and smoke. Misha stared at him, secret smile on his face as he leaned closer. “That’s a good question.” He paused, still smiling. “Did you know none of the trial Alices have even tried communing with the land for a few centuries now?”

His brow furrowed in confusion. “What does that have to do with Sebastian-”

Misha cut him off, placing a finger over his lips. “I guess they all just think there’s no point in trying when the Jabberwock will just tell them whether they’re the Alice or not. And, it’s funny, no one has ever really encouraged them to try. Not since Jared stop caring.” He offered Jensen the hose, which he rejected mutely. Misha shrugged and took another pull from it.

“That’s not an answer either.” Frustration mounting, Jensen shook the Caterpillar loose. “Look, I’m not really a fan of cryptic riddles and crap. So, if you could just tell me-”

Misha cut him off, speaking over him in a loud, cheerful voice. “I think that you should think about what I told you. About there being more Alices than one.” He assessed Jensen quickly, before nodding to himself. “There’s also someone else you should talk to. Go to them, and tell them what I said.”

“What-” Misha blew another cloud of smoke in his face, and by the time he’d stopped talking, the man was gone. “Damn it,” Jensen cursed, stalking off in the direction he’d disappeared in. “God damn riddles. Fucking Caterpillar,” he muttered to himself as he walked, finally stomping around a corner to run smack-dab into a door. “Great.” He pulled it open.

And stumbled out into a clearing. 

All of Wonderland was lovely, no doubt, but this was possibly the most peaceful place Jensen had seen. In light of the simple elegance of this clearing, the rest of Wonderland looked overdone and gaudy, as if it was trying to replicate the wonder of long gone days. This was so plain, just a pond, tall grass, and a tree. A few wildflowers dotted the landscape, but Jensen had never seen anything lovelier. He stumbled forward in awe, absolutely entranced.

Until a figure dropped down from the high branches of the tree to land right in front of him. Scowling, Jared straightened and crossed his arms over his chest. Jensen jerked up from where he was kneeling gazing into the pond to glare right back. The other man advanced with a smoothness that only seemed to emphasize how much he belonged in this clearing and how little Jensen did. “So. You did come looking for me. I knew you would. I told you the first day, I’m not going to fuck you. So you might as well leave.”

Any sense of peace he might’ve attained vanished with that one statement. Jensen’s hands flew up to shove the other man out of his space. “I wasn’t looking for you. That god damn Caterpillar-”

“You spoke to Misha?” Jared cut him off, arms loosening around his chest as his brow wrinkled in confusion.

“Yeah. Fat lot of good that did,” Jensen muttered, glaring off to the side and scuffing his toe. “Why the fuck would you care?”

“Misha hasn’t spoken to one of... you in years.” Shaking his head in puzzlement, Jared took a step closer. “What did he say?”

Jensen threw his arms up in the air, at the end of his rope. “I don’t know! Something about there being multiple Alices and a load of other junk about how I needed to talk to someone, and something about communing with the land. Why’s it so important to you anyways? So the dude talked to me. Mostly, he just breathed smoke in my face and was as cryptic as possible.”

A hand shot out to grab his arm and yank him closer. Instinctively, Jensen began to struggle, even as Jared grabbed his other arm and stared at him, eyes wide and face pale. “Multiple Alices? What are you talking about, multiple Alices?”

“Why don’t you just go talk to the guy yourself?” Jensen spat, trying his best to shake off the other man’s grip.

“Because Misha hasn’t talked to anyone. In years. No one but Sebastian’s even seen him in that long. And Sebastian just picks up papers once a week. So why the fuck would he talk to you?” Jared seemed frantic, hands holding on to Jensen so tightly that his knuckles were white. “You have to tell me what he said.”

“Fine! Fine! Just let me go!” He was released immediately and he sighed, setting about massaging his upper arms. “Just... something about how Alice was just a person with an affinity for earth. And how the land had survived without her before she was born, so there had to have been other Alices. So there had to be multiple Alices. I don’t know. It was a bunch of bizarre shit, if you ask me.”

“Multiple Alices.” The Cheshire Cat had begun pacing, hands twisting together in agitation. “Multiple Alices. But if there are multiple Alices, then-”

“Why haven’t you found another?” Jensen rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that’s what Misha said. Which is why the whole thing’s bullshit. If there were other Alices, we’d know.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Despite the fact he was agreeing, Jared didn’t sound reassured at all. “That’d be one reason. But-”

“But what!” Jensen shook his head, crossing his arms as he tried to talk sense into the other man. “You really think that after centuries of searching extensively throughout the entire kingdom, you wouldn’t have found another Alice if there were others?”

“No.” Jared paused, and peered over at him. “No. We would’ve found them. Unless.” His eyes widened slightly. “Unless someone was keeping us from them.”

Jensen’s eyebrows flew up. “What?”

“That’s it!” Jared was speaking a kind of desperate excitement, gesturing extensively with his hands. “I knew it! I knew it! I knew... None of them felt like Alice and I thought- Well, that maybe my senses were off, but they weren’t! They weren’t like Alice at all! The Jabberwock would never have accepted them!” He turned his burning gaze to Jensen. “Don’t you get it? They never should’ve been chosen! Someone- someone doesn’t want the Alice to come back!”

“Wait, wait.” Jensen held up his hand, trying to process. “You’re saying that someone in Wonderland is stopping real Alices from being selected?”

“Yes!” All of sudden, Jared was picking him up and swinging him through the air as Jensen yelped with shock. He set Jensen down only to grab his face in his massive hands. “But not just anyone.” All of a sudden, his eyes narrowed and swung away. “No, the only person who would be able to manipulate the system like that would be-”

“One of the Guardians,” Jensen breathed, running a hand through his hair. “But why...” He paused. “Wait, Jared.” The man turned furious eyes to him, but for once that rage was not directed his way. “The other day, I overheard Sebastian talking to someone. About how he didn’t think someone would ‘fall in line’ and how he thought it was going to bring problems... And I told Danneel... and later, I heard her talking on the phone to someone about how Sebastian needed to be careful where he talked and how he’d overheard... And...” He looked up at Jared, scanning his face desperately. “You don’t think... That it could be about me? And about...” He gestured at them. “Whatever this is we’re talking about?”

Jared’s face had gone grim and he stared down at Jensen appraisingly. “Only one way to find out.” His face split into a fierce grin, like a lion baring its teeth. “Want to go on a little expedition tonight?”

 

*

 

Jensen took shelter in his room. He hadn’t really ever spent much time there, other than to eat in the morning and evening, and to sleep. He paced up and down the length of it, mood swinging between anxious and bored with each passing minute. Trying to find something to occupy him until Jared came to fetch him, he organized his closet, made his bed, showered, shaved, clipped his fingernails, and spent a good hour or so laying on his bed, staring up at the depiction of Alice on his canopy. Her glassy blue eyes seemed sad to him now, like an abandoned doll. She gazed down at him with a sort of helpless pity that made him feel itchy in his own skin.

At dinner, he could barely taste his own food. He was glad Danneel was not with him that night, because there was no way he could’ve kept up a conversation with her while wondering whether she was scheming to have him killed by the Jabberwock. Even though he wanted to her to be innocent, he was having a harder and harder time believing she was. The timing of their few shared kisses was a little too perfect, as if she’d only done so to placate him or distract him from what he’d heard. He had no idea what they would find tonight, but he could feel in his bones that it wouldn’t be good.

A few minutes after the clock chimed midnight, there was a light rap on his door. Jensen hurried to answer it, only to have it swing open when he was a few feet away as Jared slipped inside. The other was wearing all black, the color highlighting the grace of his movements and the gleam of his eyes. His gaze flitted over the room briefly, as if to ensure they were safe before turning to Jensen. He took him in with raised eyebrows. “Is that what you’re wearing?”

Jensen smoothed down his black trousers and button-up self-consciously. “It’s not like they provided spy clothes in the wardrobe.” He felt overdressed and stiff next to way Jared’s clothes clung to his frame like it was natural. “This was the best I could find.”

Pursing his mouth, Jared sighed. “It’ll have to do.” He pulled the door slightly open and peered into the hall before pulling back to stare at Jensen sternly. “Follow me and keep quiet, okay? Just do as I tell you, and don’t get us caught.”

“Yes sir,” Jensen muttered as Jared slunk out of his room. Biting on the inside of his cheek, he followed, wincing as the leather of his shoes squeaked. Glaring, Jared gestured impatiently towards his feet, and Jensen hastened to tug the shoes off, leaving him in the thin cloth of his socks.

They padded almost silently through the palace, ending in front of a door that was far too familiar to Jensen. The Queen of Heart’s Throne Room. Grabbing his elbow, Jared drew him in so he could whisper, “You keep watch. I’m going to pick the lock.”

The palace was eerie in the dark, the halls suddenly looming and unfriendly. Jensen flinched at every noise, certain they were going to get caught somehow. It took an eternity for Jared to swing the door open, pulling Jensen in after him. 

If he’d thought the halls were creepy, the Throne Room was positively threatening. All the sharp angles that made the room feel so neat and pristine in the day time cast threatening shadows over them in the dark. The angles of blackness seemed sharp enough to cut as they crept towards the rows of cabinets surrounding Danneel’s desk.

Jared let out a disgruntled hissing noise as he stared at the wealth of storage space. “We need to go through every single drawer, cabinet, whatever. She could’ve hidden info anywhere.” Setting his chin forward, he nodded in determination. “I’ll start unlocking things. You go through after me and try to find something.” He sent a scorching glance Jensen’s way. “You can read, right?”

“Yes,” Jensen replied indignantly, but Jared was already slipping away, going to work on the wooden drawers closest to them. Lock picking was obviously not new to him; he was quick with the mechanisms, even though it felt like ages to Jensen every time, with the threat of discovery hanging over them. Jensen was grateful his mother had spent so many long hours working with him on his reading, even when he’d just wanted to stop. He was used to pouring over pages of writing for hours with little to no interest in the subject matter. Which was good, because Danneel seemed to keep a record of each and every document ever used in Angland’s history. By the fifth cabinet, he was about out of his mind with boredom.

He’d nearly given up hope of finding anything that was useful when he suddenly blinked as his name jumped out at him from the text. Shaking his head and refocusing, he read:

 

Name: Jensen Ackles

Birth Date: March 1, 94820

Appearance: Hair, brown. Eyes, green. Height, six-one. Build, compact.

Job: Menial labor 

Characteristics: Hardworking, motivated by family.

Sexuality: Unknown

Affinity score: 23/10

Percentage Alice correlation: 16%

 

“Jared!” he hissed, almost unable to keep quiet as he thumbed through the rest of his file. His whole history laid out on paper and analyzed. In a second, the Cat was at his side, trembling against him as he read over his shoulder. “Look. It says I’m only sixteen percent like Alice. There’s no way I should’ve been chosen.”

“The whole thing’s rigged.” Jared hadn’t been trembling at all. He’d been shaking with anger, a growl present in his voice, even as he whispered. “The affinity score... That’s talking about how well you can commune with the land. I have no idea how they can test it, but that’s gotta be it. And look: practically null!” He moved away from Jensen, a leashed kind of fury driving him to pacing once more. “They’ve rigged it. They’re not choosing the person most Alice like... They’re choosing someone that’s not like Alice at all!”

A chill settling over him, Jensen kept flipping through the folder, his fingers catching on a heavier sheet of paper, he drew it out, and nausea rolled in his gut. “Look,” he said to Jared, “Some of them don’t even know what they’re doing.” The second sheet was a new profile, still with his picture, his name and birthdate. But when it reached the last two items there were drastic changes. In both categories, he had nearly perfect scores. “They must be switching things. Giving the lowest kids the highest scores and vice versa. So no matter who the committee chooses...”

“They’re not an Alice,” Jared finished with a low snarl. “So we don’t even know who’s involved besides Sebastian.”

“And Danneel,” Jensen added, and his stomach flipped with disgust. “She kissed me,” he blurted out and was surprised when Jared’s head snapped in his direction. “I think it was just to distract me from what Sebastian said.” He paused, wondering if any of Danneel’s flirting had actually been real, or if it had all been just a clever game. “I did like her, you know.”

“Yeah.” For the first time that night, Jared’s voice was soft, not just in volume, but in tone. “I’m sorry, Jensen.” A hand hovered near his shoulder, as if the other man wanted to offer comfort but didn’t know how to, before pulling away. “We need to get going. We’ll take this with us.” 

He pulled the file out of Jensen’s unresisting hands, shoving it under his arm. They moved more slowly on their way back to Jensen’s room, dodging the rising sunshine. As soon as they were inside the safety of his chamber, Jensen headed to the alcohol cabinet. “You might as well stay. If you’re here, I have a legitimate excuse for begging off breakfast with Danneel in a few hours. You can have a drink with me.” He poured a glass of brandy for both of them without waiting for Jared’s response. “It turns out I’m not a proper Alice after all, so you don’t even have to hate me anymore.”

Shifting uncomfortably, Jared took the offered glass. He peered up through his lashes at Jensen with an almost bashful expression. “Sorry about that, by the way. Guess I was being a bit of a brat.” 

“No shit,” Jensen managed a weary smile. “But I get it. Watching all those kids die year after year. That’s gotta wear on you.”

“Yeah.” Jared stared down into the amber liquid like he’d never seen anything like it before. “It was just... easier, you know. Not to care.” He sighed, and collapsed, folding his long body into one of the armchairs. “Not that it even worked. I was never able to keep from caring about anything. Alice used to say that my heart broke if I so much as stepped on a flower. I guess that’s still true.”

Sitting down opposite to him, Jensen stared up at the ceiling, willing his weary eyelids to stay open. “Better than being the opposite. If you were... you’d probably just end up like Danneel.” He lolled his head to the side, staring at Jared. Melancholic, the man did seem just like an overgrown puppy who’d lost his favorite bone. “I’m sorry, by the way. That you lost Alice.”

“Me too.” Jared drained his drink and let out a gusty sigh. “You know, we don’t even know who else is in on this. It could be just the two of them or it could be everyone but us and Misha.” He thrashed his head back and forth in frustration. “I hate not knowing.”

“Hey.” Jensen waved a hand in Jared’s direction. “We’ll figure it out. They can’t hide from us. Not now that we know. We’ll find ‘em and we’ll bring ‘em down. And then you can find someone who’s really an Alice and save the country and everything.”

Snorting, Jared raised refilled his glass before raising it to toast Jensen. “Cheers to that.” He drained it with a quick gulp, throwing the alcohol back with years of expertise. His bleary eyes turned to the window. “Sun’s comin’ up.”

Yawning, Jensen stretched his hands over his head and got up. “Time to sleep.” He hesitated before gesturing awkwardly at the bed. “You can stay if you want. It’d be easier. I can just sleep on the couch.”

Jared shot him an amused glance. “Don’t be ridiculous. The bed is huge. We can share.” Grabbing Jensen’s hand, he walked him over to the bed and pulled him down. Jensen shifted uncomfortably, as his body yearned to snuggle closer to the other, bury himself in Jared’s body heat. Oblivious, Jared yawned and smacked his lips. “Night Jensen.”

“Night,” Jensen whispered, and drifted off while staring at the glassy blue eyes above him.

*

His eyes fluttered open as he felt something soft and wet at the nape of his neck. Disgruntled, he mumbled, still half asleep, and shifted, hoping to throw it off. Instead, the feeling returned, this time on the side of his neck, just below his ear. He batted a hand at it, only to hear a slight whimper and a bleary, “Mmm?”

Instantly, Jensen’s eyes flew open and he froze, taking in the arms wrapped around him, the strong body at his back, and the licking happening at his collarbone now. Tilting his head back, he took in the sight of Jared, shaggy hair mussed from bed, still mostly asleep, nuzzling him like a cat would. If he could, Jensen was sure he would be purring.

There was no way he could let Jared wake up to this. After their first meeting, it had been quite clear that Jared didn’t want anything to do with him, at least sexually. Despite what he’d said, it was becoming increasingly clear that Jensen felt exactly the opposite. He squirmed as the heat in his groin increased when Jared nipped at his shoulder lightly. If only he could push Jared’s arms away from him enough to slide free and escape. He tried, even though the fact that his left arm was pinned made it mostly impossible. He gave one great heave and-

“Jensen?”

Jensen froze once again, lying completely still as Jared blinked a couple of times and took in his surroundings. Jensen flushed as hazel eyes moved down to eye his visibly half-hard erection.

There were a few moments of silence until Jared said, “Well, I guess that answers the sexuality question.”

It was so unexpected that Jensen couldn’t even process for a couple of seconds. And then the gears in his brain decided that, yes, they did work, and he burst out laughing. Against his back, Jared was chortling lightly, and it was only when both of their laughter had tailed off that Jared released him, rolling over to sprawl on his back. “Sorry ‘bout that,” he said, grinning at Jensen. “I should’ve mentioned that I can get pretty affectionate in my sleep.”

“Well, obviously, I didn’t really mind,” Jensen gestured down at himself as he stood, still flushed with a little bit of residual embarrassment. “I’m gonna go get ready, if you don’t mind. You can stay for breakfast... or lunch, I guess, if you want.”

The humor faded off Jared’s face and he nodded seriously. “I will, if you don’t mind. We need to figure out our next course of action.”

“Right.” The weight in his stomach settled back in. He was here because someone didn’t want to find the Alice and if they didn’t figure out the whos, whats, and whys, he’d probably end up dead. Actually, he might just die either way. He stepped into the bathroom with a new set of clothes and closed the door. Raising his voice so he could be heard through the wood, he called, “Hey, Jared?”

“Yeah?” The response came back muffled, but clear.

Tugging his shirt on over his head, he took a few seconds before responding. “Why would anyone want to stop us from finding the Alice anyway? I mean, the land dying affects everyone. What’s their end goal here?”

There was no answer from the other side of the door for a few heavy seconds. Then, Jared’s pensive voice carried through. “The Alice rules Angland, you know. Danneel’s just stepping in. I’m guessing... she wants the position to be permanent. She’s probably the one that instigated the whole thing. I don’t know what she’s promised the others following her. Money, power, comfort... I can’t be sure. But I think she just doesn’t want to be the princess instead of the queen, you know.”

The tragic note to Jared’s voice didn’t go unnoticed. Jensen frowned at the mirror as he combed his fingers through his hair before exiting the bathroom and taking in the taller man, stretched up against the wall by the window, noon sun hitting the planes of his face in deadly angles. “It must suck for you,” he said carefully, keeping his voice soft as Jared turned to look for him. “I mean, these are your friends. You’ve been with them for centuries. Finding out something like this...”

Snorting, Jared turned his face back to the window, his bitter mask returned to his features. “Whatever they say on he outside, trust me when I say that not all of us are friends. There may once have been a time when Danneel and I tolerated each other, but it’s been so long I’ve nearly forgotten.” He paused, then ducked his head to look at his fingers, cloaking his face with a sheet of dark brown hair. “It’s not her or Sebastian I’m worried about,” he murmured. “It’s the others. Much as I want to believe it’s just the two of them... I don’t see how just two people could’ve kept the rest of us in the dark for so long.”

Jensen couldn’t help himself. He moved closer and placed a reassuring hand on Jared’s arm, causing the Cat to look over at him. “I can’t promise that this isn’t going to hurt, but I don’t think anyone awful enough to do this could’ve completely masked who they are for this long. You must’ve gotten glimpses before. You might even feel wary of them or something. I just don’t think you’ll be surprised in the end.”

A contemplative expression came over Jared’s face. He stared at Jensen for a few seconds then opened his mouth and wetted his lips. “You just reminded me of something. I think I know where to start.” He was silent for a few more moments, just staring, before he nodded to himself. “Ring for lunch. And when they get here, ask them to tell Chad his presence is requested for lunch.”

“Chad? The White Knight?” The one Guardian Jensen hadn’t met. His reputation was a good one, but then again, so was Danneel’s. “Do you think he’s one of them?”

“God no!” Jared laughed, as if that was the most foolish idea in the world. “No, no, there’s no way Chad could pull off that kind of subterfuge. No, he’s not one of them. But I think he might know who one of the other members is.”

 

*

 

Whatever he’d been expecting from someone with a title of White Knight, it was not Chad. Sure, he had the looks for the part. But just about nothing else.

He burst into the room already midway through a sentence. “-dude, it’s just that I was kind of busy downstairs, you know, a lot of clean-up to do after that one Card tried to cart in a freakin’ turtle of all things. I mean, what kind of pet is that? If you’re gonna sneak something into Wonderland, I’d at least do something more interesting. Seriously, I- Jared!” The blond immediately diverted his attention, slinging his arms around Jared’s shoulders and bouncing slightly. “Man, it’s been, like, so long since we’ve seen each other. All you do is, like, lurk in that clearing of yours and you know I’m allergic to something there.” He paused for a brief, beautiful second to look back at Jensen before he leered and wiggled his eyebrows. “Did you finally give in on your stupid celibacy thing, ‘cause I gotta say, I’m not into dudes, but I can see the appeal.”

Before Jensen had time to do something other than blush, Jared slapped Chad over the head with a growl. “Don’t be fucking idiot. And stop scaring Jensen. If this is how you introduce yourself to all the Alices, no wonder most of them think you’re a freak.”

Chad sniffed, rubbing the back of his head indignantly. “The only reason they don’t appreciate the glory of the Chad-inator is because they’re too busy drooling over your sorry ass. Fucking ungrateful bastard.” Pouting, he crossed his arms and glared at both of them, which Jensen thought was a little unfair. After all, he hadn’t even moved. “Well, if you aren’t shacking up, you wanna tell me why you’re getting all buddy-buddy with the new Alice? ‘Cause last I heard, your policy was somewhere between ignoring and hating the whole thing.”

Jared immediately sobered. “That’s actually why I had you brought here. Sit down.” He gestured at the overflowing breakfast table. “You might want to eat now. It could be hard to afterwards.”

Chad’s brow wrinkled, expression strangely childlike. “Okay, dude, you’re kinda freaking me out. What’s goin’ on?”

Wordlessly, Jared pushed over the file, with Jensen’s two different identification papers on top. Chad looked down at the pages, flipping from one to the other. He shook his head. “I’ve seen this one before” -he tapped the one with the higher scores- “but never the other. What is it?”

“The actual results,” Jared informed him.

Chad looked up at him in shock. “But- but- that’s totally stupid! I mean, if we’d had these results, we would never have chosen Jensen! I mean... he’s completely ungifted. No offense,” he shot to Jensen, before continuing while running a hand through his hair. “Why would anyone not give us these results?”

“Maybe if they didn’t want the Alice found,” Jared suggested, holding Jensen’s gaze as he spoke. “Maybe if they never wanted someone who could be the Alice ever enter Wonderland again.”

Completely dumbfounded, the blond shook his head. “But who would-” He stopped abruptly, expression suddenly clearing with realization and a fierce sort of venom. “Danneel,” he bit out. “I should’ve known. She always was too smug about that god damn position.”

Nodding, Jared leaned back in his chair. “We found these in her office.”

“Fuck.” Chad ran a hand through his hair. “Is this all you have?”

“Of solid evidence, yeah.” Jared turned his eyes to Jensen again. “Jen?” he prompted.

The nickname was startling. No one had called him Jen since he was a kid. It threw him off-kilter for a couple of seconds. When he saw Chad and Jared staring at him expectantly, he hurried to explain. “I overheard Sebastian talking about how he didn’t like a decision that was made. That someone -me I guess- shouldn’t have been chosen and it would come back to bite them. I told Danneel and then later I heard her talking on the phone with someone warning Sebastian to be careful where he talked about things...” He fiddled with his napkin. “Which I guess confirms not only that both of them are in on it, but that there is definitely at least one more person involved, if not more.” 

Realization came into Chad’s eyes. “And that’s why you called me, right?” He turned hard eyes to Jared. “You think Genevieve’s a part of it.”

Sighing, Jared rubbed a hand over his eyes. “All those documents that are altered... Well, she’s in charge of the Alice Selection Process. She’s the one in charge of the tests that are done and she’s the one that compiles the information. If they were changed after she saw them, don’t you think she would’ve noticed or said something by now? We’re talking centuries of this sort of thing, Chad! Either she’s involved or you are. And, no offense, but there’s no way you could keep something like this under wraps.”

Nodding absently, Chad stared down at the documents in front of him. “Believe me, I see what you’re saying man. I even agree with most of it. It’s just hard to imagine Genevieve doing that, you know? I mean, we’re not best friends or anything, but we’ve been working together for ages now.”

“We don’t know what Danneel told them to get them on her side,” Jared reminded him, patting his knee. “She could think she’s doing the right thing, for some reason we haven’t figured out yet. But I think it’s pretty clear that she’s involved.”

“Yeah.” Glumly, Chad pushed the papers away. “All of a sudden, all her odd working quirks and stuff don’t seem so funny. In hindsight, it’s obvious it was because she was all strung up in this mess.” He looked lost as he stared up at Jared. “But I don’t get it, man. You had Genevieve figured out without talking to me. What’d you want from my end?”

“This has to stop.” Jared’s voice was clear and authoritative as he stood and began gesturing with his hands as he spoke and paced. “Angland needs an Alice and while Danneel and her cronies are working, we’re not going to get one. If there are people with high enough affinities out there, they don’t know what to do, and they can’t help unless we guide them. Which means there needs to be a coup.”

Eyes wide, Chad scrubbed at his face. “You’re telling me you want to take down Danneel, Sebastian, Genevieve, and whoever else is involved?”

“Yeah.” Jared narrowed his eyes at his friend. “That’s exactly what I want to do. And I want you to help me. We can’t risk telling any of the other Guardians, because they could be involved. The only ones we know are clean are the three of us and Misha. And it’s not like he’s going to help anymore than he already has with getting this ball rolling. So we need an army. A loyal army. Danneel may have coerced some of the Cards as well, we don’t know. You’re the Wall’s guardsman. I want you to find the Cards we need to take down Danneel and the rest tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Chad shot out of his chair, frantic. “Are you fucking kidding me? There’s no way!”

Jared seized the smaller man by the shoulders, shaking him lightly. “Don’t you get it? We don’t have time! The more time we waste, the more likely she figures things out and starts fighting back. Right now we have the element of surprise, but that won’t last long. So can you do this for me, for your country, or not?”

It seemed even the air stilled for a minute, everything focused around the two Guardians. Jensen stared at them, caught up in the battle of wills raging between their eyes. There was a slight sound from just outside his door and he twitched as if to look at it. That was enough to break the stillness, and all the air seemed to rush out of Chad. “Shit man,” he grumbled, thumping his head once against Jared’s shoulder before drawing himself back up. “Yeah, I’ll do it. You’ll have your Card army by tomorrow at noon. And if Danneel chops my head off, you better know I’m gonna blame your crazy ass.”

Smiling gently, Jared ruffled Chad’s hair. “Thanks, man.” He glanced at the door and frowned. “You better head out. There’ll be a Card coming by soon to clean up and stuff and you can’t keep your mouth shut to save your life, especially at the scene of the crime. I’ll come by and try and help with the round-up later, okay?”

“Sounds good.” Chad shook his head, laughing in a couple of snorts. “Can’t believe we are actually psycho enough to do this.” He waved a hand in Jensen’s direction. “See ya, Jenny!” Before Jensen could respond, he was out the door.

Turning to him, Jared had the decency to look mildly embarrassed for his friend. “Sorry about him. He really should know better by now. Can’t teach Chad new tricks, I guess.”

“Whatever.” It wasn’t like he hadn’t been called that particular nickname before, particularly by his older brother. “As long as he’s helping us.”

“Yeah.”

The air was still thick with from tension from their meeting. Jensen shifted uncomfortably where he sat, and finally stood up, moving to look out the window. “You said you’d help him later?”

Joining him, Jared’s upper arm brushed against his shoulder. “Yeah. I have a couple of other errands to run first. I’m going to try and see if I can eliminate any of the other Guardians as potentially involved. The more Guardians we have fighting with us, the better.” The sun hit his right eye as he looked down at Jensen, turning it into a blaze of blues, greens, and golds. “I know you’re gonna want to help and stuff, but I think it’s probably already made Danneel suspicious enough that you haven’t eaten with her the past couple of meals. The best thing you can do for all this is invite her over for dinner, keep your cool, and convince her you’ve completely forgotten about the whole thing. Can you do that?”

“Yeah,” Jensen agreed, voice weirdly breathless. “Yeah. You’ll be safe.”

“Yeah.” 

For a second, he thought there was going to be more. He thought Jared was going to lean down and press his lips against Jensen’s in the glow of the setting sun. He thought he’d get to feel those massive hands cradling his head or caressing his waist or slipping under his shirt to play across bare skin-

Abruptly, Jared pulled back. “I’ll see you later then,” he said quickly, before darting out the door, leaving Jensen stunned behind him.

 

*

 

Acting had never been something Jensen had a huge amount of fascination in. People of his class didn’t have that kind of free time for entertainment. If education and religion were neglected, theatre was something that had been practically forgotten. 

Even if he’d been a highly trained actor, Jensen doubted he would’ve enjoyed the performance he was preparing for. No one wanted to play the traitor pretending to be a friend to the hard-hearted queen. Not when their head was on the line.

Danneel arrived right on time, precisely at six-thirty. Jensen had the table prepared, a decadent meal more suited for two lovers than enemies. Three raps came from the door just as he was lighting the slender white candles. His hands shook as he set down the pack of matches and smoothed them down his clothes. He needed to keep it together, just for an hour or two, and then tomorrow he would be free. It wasn’t that long. He could handle it.

Opening the door, he let his broadest smile fall like a mask over his face. “Danneel,” he said, taking in the sight of her. 

She was wearing a little red dress that clung to her body, right down to mid-thigh, with a sweet-heart neckline that gave him ample view of her chest. Her golden-red hair fell in curls to frame her face and his eyes were stuck on the one covering her right ear as she pushed up to kiss him. Closing his eyes, he tried to kiss back as best as he could, and felt a surge of relief when she pulled away. “May I come in?” she asked coquettishly, and he stepped back to let her pass through. As soon as she was inside, he closed the door behind her, then moved forward to pull out her chair for her. She smiled at him as she sat. “Thank you.” She gazed over the table with a small, secret smile. “My goodness Jensen, this is quite the elaborate set-up. I’m flattered.”

Sitting opposite to her, he nodded, flustered. “Well, I didn’t want you to think I was neglecting you. After all, I haven’t seen you since the day before last. Wouldn’t want you to think my feelings had changed.” Even if they had. “Do you like it?”

“Very much.” She ran long, crimson nails over the roses etched on the handle of her silver dinner knife. “I only wish I had known or I wouldn’t have invited anyone to join us.”

Startled, he blinked several times. Pulling a strained smile, he asked, “You invited someone? Why?”

The sun caught on her locks making her look like an angel soaked in blood. She set her napkin daintily in lap before looking up at him through those long, long lashes. “Well, you had mentioned you thought you didn’t spend enough time with the others, but were reluctant to suffer the loss of my company, so I thought, why not combine the two? There are just a few of the Guardians coming tonight, and then...” She reached over and stroked her hand down his cheek, eyes dark. “It’ll be just the two of us again.”

“That sounds... great.” He hoped she didn’t hear the hesitation in his voice. “After all, I’ve barely spoken to anyone but you more than one time.”

“Except for Jared, of course.”

His head jerked up at the words and his eyes scanned her face. Was that... There was no way that was an insinuation of anything. After all, he had spoken to Jared twice that she knew of. He nodded, trying to laugh it off. “Yeah. And Jared. Unfortunately.”

“You still feel that way?” Danneel tilted her head to the side, eyes glinting with something that seemed eeriely predatory. “I heard that you, Chad and Jared actually had lunch together today.”

“Well, I actually invited Chad. Jared just stopped by to harass me. I kicked him out as soon as I could.” He spun the lies as fast as he could, staring down at his meat as he spoke. Hoping it came out genuine, he kept speaking. “He seems determined to make sure I’m miserable.”

“That’s too bad.” Danneel’s hand came into view, slinking forward to grab his in a vice-like grip. “It’s funny though... I heard something rather different. In fact, I heard that the three of you were having very interesting conversations indeed.”

“Did you?” He gulped down a sip of wine. “If you call flurries of insults and Chad’s laughter interesting, sure.”

He was almost relieved when three knocks echoed from the door. 

Danneel smiled and released his hand. “That’ll be my friends. Don’t bother getting up. I can do it.” She strode to the door and opened it, and Jensen felt something toxic roll in his stomach as three figures entered. Danneel turned and smiled at him, but it was no smile he’d seen out of her before. It was wide and threatening as she leveled a gun directly at his chest. “Meet my friends, Jensen. Sebastian, Genevieve, and I believe you know Steve? You might have heard, but we’re very close. And we don’t really like our privacy being violated, do we?”

So there was a fourth. Jensen glared accusingly at Steve, who had seemed so laid-back and sweet when he’d met him at the Tea Party headquarters. There was no point in denying it anymore. What with the gun pointed at his chest, he was pretty sure they knew everything. He scowled at Danneel. “How’d you find out?”

She smiled, and he hated the sight of it. “A very loyal Card of mine came to clear the dishes for lunch and guess what she heard through the door? She, of course, rushed to tell me, the sweet thing. At first, I could hardly believe it, but, here we are, aren’t we?”

Jensen flashed back to the sound he’d thought he’d heard near the door. If only he’d rushed out and checked. If he had, he might not have ended up here, at the end of the barrel of the Queen’s gun. “You gonna kill me then?”

“No, we only have the gun for show.” Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Of course we are, you stupid man.” He turned to Steve with an angry toss of his hand. “Didn’t I tell you he’d be trouble?”

“I’ll trust your judgment next time, Sebastian.” Danneel didn’t move her eyes from Jensen for one second. “I guess you are dying a little ahead of schedule. But you had the bad manners to pry into my private matters, and well, now I’m going to have to get rid of two of my precious Guardians. I don’t know what excuse we’ll make to the others, but I’m sure I’ll figure something out.” She paused for a moment before brightening. “Ooh, I know! I think framing them for your murder should do quite nicely. After all, the murder of an Alice can hardly be forgiven, don’t you think?”

“How can you do this?” He let his voice rise in anger, hoping someone, anyone would hear. “The country is dying and you’re just letting it, for what? A crown and a little bit more power? How the hell can you be so-”

“Don’t talk like you know how it was!” Danneel’s eyes were aflame as her words curled out like smoke. “You have no idea what it was like under that... that glorified brat! Her and that Cat running about like children, only taking charge when it suited them. We had to do all the work, but the instant Alice wanted something done, we had to drop everything and rush to do as she said! Some pimply little blonde thing that had no idea about running a government! I wish I’d killed her myself!” The rage flowed out of her in palpable waves, and Jensen cringed away from the insanity in her eyes. Genevieve placed a hand on her arm and she seemed to pull herself back together with a deep breath. “Well, she’s gone now. And you’ll be gone too, soon.” She cocked her head to the side and smiled, the same flirty smile that had been aimed at him for the weeks he’d been there. “It really is a shame, Jensen. I actually liked you.” Shrugging, she released the safety on the gun. “Oh well.”

Frozen in fear, he stared at her as her finger moved on the trigger, pulling it towards her and then-

“JENSEN!” Jared burst through the door, backed by Chad, the rest of the Guardians and an army of Cards. Danneel fired.

It was like everything was in slow motion. He could see Jared charging into the room, ignoring everyone else as he ran towards Jensen. The bullet sped faster and, even as Richard and Matt took Danneel down, it plunged into his torso.

He fell back, hitting the ground with a ringing smack that reverberated through his skull even as his vision began to fade. Distantly, he felt warm hands grabbing at him, a rush of pain flowing through him as they pressed down over his wound. “Jensen, Jensen!” Someone was calling him, but it was too late. He was gone.

*

He dreamed.

He dreamed of a White Rabbit leading him down a rabbit hole, shouting that he was late, late, late.

He dreamed of two fat little men called the Tweedles who couldn’t keep track of who they were.

He dreamed of a caterpillar smoking a hookah on a mushroom, blowing smoke in his face as he asked, “Who are you?”

He dreamed of a tea party with a Mad Hatter and a March Hare and a Dormouse

He dreamed of a crazy Queen who kept demanding, “Off with his head, off with his head!”

And above all he dreamed of a cat called Cheshire who kept appearing and disappearing leaving behind a grin too wide to be real.

 

*

 

He awoke, coughing as a puff of smoke wafted over his face. Weak from how long he’d been out (and how long had that been?), he waved his hand twice in front of him before falling back down onto the bed. It took a minute for him to muster up the energy to open up his eyes and look at Misha’s smiling face hovering above him.

“Isn’t smoking not allowed around sick people?” he asked, voice scratchy and soft. He tried to clear his throat and found it dry. There was a glass of water on the table beside him, but he wasn’t sure he trusted his arm to lift it at that point.

Misha smiled, setting aside his hookah to pick up the glass and bring it to Jensen’s lips. Jensen sipped weakly from the straw as Misha spoke. “I suppose in a sick room it would be disallowed.” He pulled the cup away as soon as Jensen had drunk half. “But you, my friend, are not sick. You are injured.” He winked, crossing his legs. “That makes quite a difference in treatment, I’m told.”

“Right.” Squirming on the bed, Jensen managed to ease himself up, so he was propped up against his pillows. Blinking, he took in the room. It wasn’t his palace room, that was for sure. From what he could see out the window, it was on ground level. The walls were made of wood, not stone, and the furniture seemed simple and cozy. The sound of pots and pans being put to use in the kitchen clanged from outside his room. Rubbing his eyes, he looked to Misha for answers. “Where am I?”

Misha hummed under his breath as he repositioned the hookah in his lap, wrapping the hose around his right arm and hand. “Well, you’re still in Wonderland if that’s what you were wondering. More specifically, you’re in a cabin nestled in the woods in the back of the palace. I believe Jared and Alice used to use it for their romantic getaways, when they wanted it to be just the two of them. You and your family were brought here after you were shot, so you could properly recover outside the chaos of the palace.”

“My family?” Jensen tried to get up at that, only to have Misha press a calming hand against his chest. 

“They’re all fine. Jared insisted they be brought, especially since Chad told him he couldn’t hang around here full time.” There was a twinkle of amusement in those strange blue eyes. “I must say, he was hard to pry from your side. I haven’t seen him this besotted in centuries.”

A blush came to Jensen’s cheeks, but he refused to be sidetracked. “Does that mean we won? Danneel and the rest... they’re not in charge anymore?”

“Oh no.” Waving the hose extravagantly, Misha shook his head. “No, they’re locked up nice and tight until their trial. After that, well, who knows? But they won’t be ruling Angland ever again, that’s for certain.” Misha looked over at him, and seemed somewhat exasperated that he was still confused. “I suppose you need the whole rundown, don’t you?”

“I guess so.” Jensen shook his head, only to find it made the room whirl. “How long was I out?”

Dismissive, Misha answered, “Only three weeks or so.” When Jensen made a strangled noise, he patted his knee with a kindly expression. “After getting shot in the lung, that is quite a short time to be out of commission. You are very lucky you were in Wonderland and that our medicine is... well, somewhat more advanced. Otherwise you would’ve died.”

Gritting his teeth, Jensen grabbed for the water, taking a deep sip before saying, “I’m pretty sure being in Wonderland is the reason I was shot in the first place.”

“Semantics!” Bored already, Misha turned his gaze to the window. “Anyhow, after you were shot and Danneel’s ring was taken down, there was some serious discussion about Wonderland and Angland and how things should be run. It was decided that the kingdom would be immediately scoured for Alices of the potential we needed and those Alices would be trained and become the ruling parliament of the country. Obviously, the Guardians aren’t going anywhere, but we decided it was important to have a group of mortals at the head of the land. We will remain on as servants of the government and advisors, I suppose, although I suppose I’ll be needing a new assistant.” His lips twitched as he looked down at Jensen. “Are you interested?”

“Fuck off.” Groaning, he leaned forward on his hands, trying to sit up without the pillows’ assistance. He failed, flopping back against the headboard. Reluctantly, he turned to Misha. “How’re the people taking it?”

“How should I know? That’s Chris’s job.” Misha shrugged nonchalantly, taking a few drags before he spoke again. “We’ve managed to find twelve Alices so far and have them brought here. Jared is helping them, seeing as he’s the only one that remembers how Alice communed with the land in the first place. It’s already making a difference. When you’re well enough, you should walk the Wall. Take a look outside. You can almost see change coming.”

So that was where Jared was. Jensen wasn’t important anymore, now that he wasn’t the Alice, so Jared had left and moved on. And now there were multiple Alices to hold his attention. Jensen probably wouldn’t even see him again, especially once he was recovered enough to leave Wonderland. Jensen’s felt his chest clamp up at the thought and brought a hand up to rub at his sternum, as if the physical touch could make it better. He rolled his head over to look at Misha. “How long can I -my family and I, that is- stay here?”

Raising his eyebrows, Misha looked down at him, bemused. “Well, as long as you like.” He paused and then laughed, insanity still a mild tinge to it. “Oh, did you think we were just going to kick you out because you have less affinity than Jared has? Don’t you realize you’re a national hero now?”

“Hero?”

“Well, of course!” Misha stared down at him as if he was a particularly amusing kitten. “You did discover the Queen of Hearts’s plot and help stop her. You were even wounded in the line of duty. You’ve got a place in Wonderland for you and your family for the rest of your life, if you want it. However long that might be.”

Blue eyes sparkled at the last part, but Jensen didn’t catch the twinkle as he turned over the words in his mind. A place in paradise for him and his family, just because he’d overheard Sebastian in some corridor and wondered enough about it to cause a stir. He fiddled with his lower lip worriedly. “But what would we do?”

Misha shrugged. “Whatever you want. Lounge around or build fences, no one cares.” He snorted around a puff of smoke. “You know, they say curiosity killed the cat, but I think it almost killed you instead.” He winked at Jensen, standing up from his stool. “I’m sure that nose of yours will manage to worm its way into something else in no time at all.” He moved towards behind.

And then he popped his head back in, laughing to himself. “I almost forgot. You’re supposed to read the note on the bedside table. And your mom will be done cooking in five minutes, so you better read it and hide it fast.” The mess of brown hair disappeared with an off-tune humming trailing in its wake.

With fumbling fingers, Jensen reached for the piece of white paper, almost dropping it before he brought it in front of him. It was folded four times, and he was a little more wary with each fold. When the message was finally revealed, it read:

Jensen,

Whenever you can, please meet me in the meadow you found me in before. I’ll come as soon as I can.

Jared

His heart pumped too fast in his chest, and he hadn’t managed to get it calmed down any by the time his mother rushed into the room.

 

*

 

It took over a week. For his legs to work properly, for him to be able to maintain the energy to walk that far, and for his mother to stop clinging to him like he was a wounded duckling. Jensen wasn’t sure the last would ever wear off completely. After all, the last time he’d left her sight, he’d managed to get himself picked as Alice and shot in the lung. She seemed to tail his every footstep with tears in her eyes.

Finally, he managed to convince her that he just needed a little alone time and set off into the woods. He kept his destination firmly in mind, hoping that all of Wonderland operated as the halls did, bringing one to wherever one needed to go. Sure enough, just as his breath was beginning to rasp against his throat, the trees opened up into the clearing where he’d found Jared after his first run-in with Misha.

The water was just as crystalline as he remembered, and he sighed as he sat down on the edge, shucking his shoes to the side and pushing his toes into the cool water. Though the sun was beating strongly overhead, it remained the perfect temperature in the clearing and he stretched out onto his back and basked in the warm sun.

“Jensen?” The quiet voice somehow didn’t startle him, nor did the warmth settling in at his side. “Jen? You awake?”

“Mmm...” He rolled his body loosely then fluttered his eyes open to take in Jared’s concerned face hovering above him. “Yeah. Yeah, just dozing.”

“Could see that.” There was an air of awkwardness as both of them stared at each other, neither speaking. 

Jensen had no idea what to say. He’d only really known Jared for a few days, not well enough to really know what he felt, just that it was something strong and bright and he didn’t want to give Jared over to all the new Alices that were demanding his attention. “So. How are my replacements?”

That seemed to break the mood. Chuckling, Jared leaned back, tilting his head up to receive the sun’s rays as well. “Good. I mean, most of them really have no idea what they’re doing, and the idea of multiple Alices and running a government is pretty confusing for most of them. But they could be worse.” He nudged Jensen’s side with a grin. “At least none of them cursed me out the first time I met them.”

“Hey. You started it.” Smiling, Jensen raised his arms above his head, letting them toy in the grass and dirt. “I guess I won’t be seeing a lot of you now that you’ve got all of them to deal with.”

There was a light pause and then the sensation of fingertips running down his cheek. Jared’s fingertips. When he looked up at him in confusion, Jared smiled fondly. “They’re not really replacing you, you know.”

“Of course they are.” Jensen felt the bitterness creeping into his tone. 

Jared took in his strained expression blankly, before turning to look at the pond in front of them. There were a few moments of silence and Jensen was positive he’d somehow managed to offend the other man when he finally began to speak. “Do you know why Wonderland was built where it was?”

“No.”

Nodding, the Cat stared off into the distance, clearly seeing something in the past. “It’s because once upon a time, ten friends and one monster stumbled upon this magical little pond. They drank from it and bam! They couldn’t die. Not from old age that is, and it was incredibly hard to kill them by traditional methods. So they declared themselves Guardians of the land, decided they were meant to rule, and created Angland.” Hazel eyes turned to scour Jensen’s own wide ones. “We don’t tell people that our immortality was merely by chance. I mean, if everyone knew it was just some water... Well, everyone would want some.”

“Why are you telling me then?” Jensen’s voice was soft, a whisper even he couldn’t believe. It was just like the bubble of hope rising in his chest. It wasn’t something to be trusted or relied on.

Jared slid closer, turning to face him full on. His hands lifted to cradle Jensen’s face as if it was something precious and wonderful. “Because, I was hoping that maybe... someday... not now, but later, you might want to know about this pond for your own reasons.” Wetting his lips nervously, his gaze darted over Jensen’s face nervously. “Look, it took me years to realize I loved Alice. I’ve never had that feeling, you know, the one they talk about. Just knowing that someone’s supposed to be in my life within seconds of meeting them. I don’t think that’s really possible in the first seconds of knowing someone. But I know the first time I saw you that I’d never felt something like that before in my life, and it’s probably the closest thing to love at first sight that exists. So.” He paused, taking in a deep breath. “I don’t know if you feel the same way. And I’m not pressuring you to make any quick decisions, but I- I really want you in my life Jensen, and not just as a friend. So, if someday, maybe you want to take a drink from this pond, that would... It would make me about the happiest man alive.”

There was no way to reply to that. Even if there was, the leaping tangle of joy, excitement, and love in his chest wouldn’t allow him to speak. He tried to move his mouth, only to make a few incoherent noises. As Jared began to look concerned, Jensen gave up and simply flung his arms around the other man, kissing him with every ounce of emotion he could muster. And Jared gave every bit back.

Jared landed on his back and the air rushed out of him into Jensen’s mouth. Jensen lapped it up greedily, sprawling over Jared’s fallen form, hands holding Jared’s head steady as he ground down against the body below him. It didn’t take long for Jared to recover enough to bring his hands up to grab at Jensen, trailing down his back to palm his ass, squeezing it and rubbing it as if he thought Jensen could get off from just that. Jensen almost thought he could, simply from the high of those broad hands touching him -him!- caressing him and petting him and, oh!

The world spun as Jared flipped them over, pressing Jensen back into the grass. He hiked one of Jensen’s legs up over his hip and Jensen let out a moan as the new angle brought their hips together, Jared’s circling and rubbing frantically against his. His dick was hot and hard in his pants as it begged for a little bit more of that friction against the gorgeous body above him that made him feel like he was about to whirl apart into a thousand pieces. His head fell back with a low keen as he did just that.

Jared’s head was framed by the sun and Jensen watched in awe as, after a few more thrusts, he came as well, eyes squeezing shut and every muscle in his body going taut. He’d never seen anything more beautiful.

With a huff, Jared rolled off him, entwining their hands. Content in silence, they lay down next to the pond, as they would for many days, weeks, and years afterwards. And Jensen thought that just maybe, he could lay there for forever.


End file.
